Att vägleda The Work

Det här inspirationsbrevet vänder sig till oss som är intresserade av "andra sidan" av The Work, dvs. den guidande, vägledande, coachande. På engelska kallas det facilitator, to facilitate, vilket på svenska antyder någon slags medlare. Redan det engelska uttrycket har varit uppe till debatt, om det verkligen uttrycker det bäst. Frågeställare, medvandrare, vän, "underlättare" ...

Och finns det egentligen en andra sida? När vi gör The Work med andra gör vi det också med oss själva.

"If you ask me to do The Work with you, I'm happy to join you there. Inquiry is where I can be understood. I am you in the answers. We meet in the center. It's the only way I can be seen or understood: in the center, the heart.

Whenever you invite me, I'll jump into your dream. I'll follow you through the tunnel, into the darkness, into the darkest pit of suffering. I'll meet you there, I'll take you by the hand, and we'll walk through it together into the light.There's no place I won't enter. I'm everything, everywhere.

And, really, I have no ideas about whether you should or shouldn't suffer. I respect your path as much as I respect my own. I understand it if you're mezmerized by your story of who you are and you want to hold on to it for now. If you really don't want to suffer, I'm there for you. Through inquiry, I'll meet you as deeply as you want to go. Whatever you say, I'll meet it; whatever you ask for, I'll give. I love you, because I'm totally selfish. Loving you is simply self love.

I don't change, and I see change in you only if you say so. You are my inner life. You're the voice of myself, reporting my health at all times. Sickness or health--it's all fine with me. You're sad, you're not sad; you don't understand, you understand; you're peaceful; you're upset; you're this, you're that. I am each cell reporting itself. And, beyond all change, I know that each cell is always at peace.

As closely as I can describe it in words, I am your heart. I am what you look like inside yourself. I am the sweetest place you come from. I am no one. I am a mirror. I am the face in the mirror"

Byron Katie

"... the story keeps you from inquiry. To inquire honestly, with intention, is to wait for an answer within you to meet the question. Your wisdom is always there to speak, and it will give you the answer to the question. But the I-know mind, rather than wait for the answer, will give itself its own story back again."

Who would you be without your story? s 21

When I'm working with someone, it may seem that I'm indifferent to the outcome. I'm not concerned about whether they do The Work, how deep their insight is, whether they're even listening, what they do with it, how far they go with it, whether they're in total resistance or have a major awakening and are forever grateful, whether they walk out and say that was totally useless. What I do care about is what you care about. If you don't answer the questions, or your mind doesn't open to another depth, if your answers are very shallow and limited, I experience amazing peace at seeing clearly that for you that's depth, in fact it's all the depth that is required, no more, no less. If it appears to me that you've made no headway whatsoever, I see that what you hold onto is what is dear to you, and that's what I want. When you're answering the questions and the bottom falls out, and all the old variety of help you ever considered as useful drops away from you and I see you fall into what is beautiful, I love that you love that. I love the polarity you just entered, the polarity of "I don't know," where everything is a surprise and new, original, fresh, and brilliant, like a child discovering life for the very first time. This is not my preference unless it's your preference. I want what you want. Anything less than that is not being one with you, joining you, communioning with you. I cannot take your old beliefs from you. If I were to want that, it would be ahead of your want, which is fine unless I hold the expectation that you should travel where I travel or that you even could or that's it's even time. Nothing ahead of its time, and I don't deal in time. To enter time and attempt to manipulate it is a futile and impossible expectation. I care about what you care about, no more, no less. And that is care. No pushing, no pulling, no tug of war, just holding, loving.

Byron Katie

"Sweetheart, thank you for silence, thank you for presence, thank you for slowing down, thank you for your open mind, thank you for your gentleness, and your love, for allowing that to surface, for giving that a life, for trusting it, and for coming to the school of you."

We all move at our own speed.

All that wisdom we put out to other people is for us to hear. Have you noticed how they’re not listening? If it’s such great wisdom, let me live it.

Brian: I’m laughing because I’m really ashamed of that statement.
Katie: Well, what if you don’t have time for shame? It’s innocent. You believed your thoughts.

I cannot "do" or not "do" anything wrong, as everything is about enlightenment, everything wakes me up to everything without exception. All is the teacher, I am the student.

There is no one facilitating!! Someone is kind enough to let us ask them the 4 questions, and they answer them.

Do something about my pain before I try to fix theirs.

So I invite you to commit to a yes or no, because The Work stops working the moment you stop answering the questions. What happens is the mind wants you to defend what you are believing, it wants to justify what you're believing, and The Work, when you answer the questions, just cuts through it.

When I am facilitating others, what do you do when someone cannot find a response to question 4, “Who would you be without that thought?” I recently was working with someone who said that the thought was just ‘too heavy’, and she could not find a ‘me’ without it as she had had it for so long. Eventually, I went onto the turnarounds and that did help – I wondered if you have any advice about ways to help people find themselves when the thought has been all-encompassing for so long?

Katie: Yes, sweetheart: invite them to close their eyes and to watch themselves living the same life that they have always lived, and to watch themselves in their mind’s eye without believing that thought. For example, maybe the thought is, “He (or anyone) should care.” You could say, “Close your eyes and imagine your life, the one you have always lived, without that thought. Be still and watch. What do you see?” And allow them the time to sit in this space for a while. Also, you might want to give them a pencil and paper and ask them to answer the fourth question in writing, “Who would you be without your story?” Offer it to them as homework. This fourth question is a way out of the world of our imaginations. And the entire world is imagined, I assure you.

... I’m feeling less able to have confidence in facilitating some issues, and I’m realizing that to facilitate you need to have faith that it works, and when I’m not feeling that great, I find it hard to have that faith. ...

Katie: When you don’t have confidence in facilitating some issues, it is because you haven’t Worked them yourself and that would always be why you have these “shut down” experiences yourself. Your clients bring you your Work, not theirs. You both may think that it is their Work, but it is always the other way around, especially if you believe that you need faith while you are with a client. No one needs faith that The Work works; have faith that the client will answer the questions, that is the thing, and are you answering the questions or are you skeptical about going that deeply into yourself? I suggest that you take the opportunity to go as deeply as you can and offer what you find to your client. Or notice that the client continues to open you up through their answers that are always yours. This will serve you as you continue your practice. Have faith in that.

Be the student: the teacher's role is a stuck one.

Stressande tankar om att vägleda The Work:

He doesn't get it

I shouldn't have said that

He's wasting my time

They are missing out on my valuable input

I need people to feel comfortable with me

She needs to get it

She needs to get what I'm getting

I don't want him to feel bad

I don't want her to feel bad about herself

I need him to see me as a good facilitator

They need to do more Work

Han borde gå djupare

Hon borde göra The Work långsammare

Han är rädd för att möta sig själv

Hon behöver komma i kontakt med sina känslor

Jag behöver underlätta för dem

Who is the teacher? (I hate facilitating)

Freshen Up Your Inquiry med facilitator Mona Grayson

Inspiration från Brandon Bays, grundare av Resan-processen:

Källan är verkligen "smittande", och jag hade upptäckt att när jag var djupt försänkt i Stillhet, i Tystnad, då hittade den jag arbetade med lättare och med större iver sin väg in i den där medvetenheten. För att arbeta med någon räcker det inte med att utföra processen, du måste VARA den, leva den. Då är det lätt för människor att "bli smittade" av dig.

Text: Adina Malveklint

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